Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Thank you, but I didn't ask for your opinion.

We found out Layla was a girl when I was 20 weeks pregnant. Tomorrow she is 10 months old. When people asked us what we were having and we told them a girl, usually the first thing people said was, "well that's great! So you're done having children since you have a boy and a girl, what more could you want". This wasn't typically a question, it was a statement of fact. It used to offend me that people would just assume because we have a girl and a boy that we were done. Many people added to that statement that they think we shouldn't have any more children because why on earth would you want more than 2 children if you already have a boy and a girl?? People still do this today, as I assume they will until I get pregnant again. Some women tell me how lucky I am I don't have to be pregnant again (again, they are assuming we are done having children). This does not offend me anymore because I have learned that people have their own opinions and can think what they want, especially when it comes to children and how you should raise them. For some reason they believe if they tell you their opinion over and over again that it will, too, become your opinion. First let me say, why do people think just because we have a boy and a girl all is right in the world and we are done having children? Has anyone ever thought that having a male and female was not my goal in the first place? Second, why is just having one of each desirable? Am I not, or anyone else who wants children, allowed to want more than 2 children if the first 2 happen to be opposite genders? Second, I am NOT done having children. I want LOTS of children. How many I want to have is none of your business, quite frankly. That is for me and Chris to decide. If you think we should have just 2, then keep that thought to yourself. Yesterday a woman told me that having 3 children is bad because then someone always feels left out. Just go for 2. Why would she assume that I did not come from a family of 3 children? This woman also told Chris that she thinks tattoos are defacing your body after her and him just talked about his tattoo. Let's just say she lacked tact. So, to sum up: 1)we want more than 2 children 2) how many we want is for us to decide and change whenever we want 3) keep your opinions about how many children a couple should have to yourself. Thanks for stopping by.


Amber said...

Amen!!! I completely agree with everything you have written (even though I know you didn't ask for my opinion). I have a friend who had triplets, and when she found out it was triplets (rather than twins, as she was originally told), my boss said, "At least she'll never have to be pregnant again. She'll just get it all out of the way now." I was pregnant then, and I was almost offended by her comment because I was loving my pregnancy. I want to do it again and again! (just not yet!) :)

kelly and stephen loeffler said...

LOVE it!!!

Chanes said...

you want more kids?!?!? who knew?!?!?


answer:"yes" and "anyone who has ever met you"