Olympics

I used to think I was an athlete... however, after watching the Olympics for 17 days straight, I realize I am FAR from being an athlete. I went for a walk today and got burnt out in 30 minutes (although I will credit some of that to the 100 degree heat). That is pretty sad considering that I used to swim for 2-3 hours a day in college. Needless to say I am motivated. I like feeling "strong", it makes me more confident in myself. I cannot put my self-consciousness on anybody but myself, even though I try to blame Chris. He loves me the way I am. I wish that for all my friends, for them to find someone who loves them just the way they are now, not some future version of them. Surprisingly many people fall in love with the person they want their mate to be, not the person they are. That makes me sad and fear for the possible relationships that are out there. Luckily I have the most amazing husband in the world! Not that I'm bragging or anything :)

Moving On...

My little brother is moving to Italy in 7 days... indefinitely. I am really proud of him. He has talked about moving to Italy to teach English for a couple of years now, and he's finally doing it! He doesn't know how long he is going to be gone. Maybe one year, maybe five. Crazy. I am going to miss him. He is a very big part of my and Chris' life and it is going to be weird without him. I hope we get to visit him. Scotty, we love you!

My little sister is moving to San Francisco in January to work with street kids and prostitutes. WOW!!! I am really proud of her too. She has come a long way the past 20 months. God is doing amazing things in her life and it is so exciting that she gets to use them for His glory. I am just such a proud big sister right now!!

What an emotional weekend it's been... Lauren Larsen delivered her baby on Thursday night, just before midnight, and on Friday just after lunch I got a phone call that the baby was not doing well and that we needed to pray for her because her chance of survival was 50%. My heart dropped. And I prayed... still am praying. I cannot imagine carrying a baby for 9 months and then not being able to hold him or take her home. I especially cannot imagine losing him. I would hope my faith would not be shattered, but I don't know that I can honestly say it wouldn't be. 

As of right now the baby is stable. I have no idea what is going on in Lauren or Matt's mind. Please pray that Lucia Life Larsen makes it through these next tough couple of days, that God would give her strength to fight, and breath life back into her. I beg you to pray with me. Pray with faith, for faith is what gets me through. 

Change?

Last week I finished reading the book Same Kind of Different as Me. I am not a reader, but it only took me 3 days to read it. It was one of the most powerful books I have ever read and I could not put it down, nor could I stop from crying. It really has got me thinking. What kind of a life am I leading? What am I called to do? Who am I called to help? And a number of other questions. I desperately desire to change myself from the inside out, but at the same time have no idea what that looks like. The past week I have been very mellow and confused. How do I go about a life change? So many things have been on my mind and I can't seem to figure it out yet. I know I will, I just don't like thinking about how long it might take me.

Chris and I are moving in April to Nashville. We are so excited. Dallas has become an enemy to me and I do not want to feel that way. I feel as though I don't belong here. I want my future to start now. But I also want to take some people with me. We can conclude that I am confused and contemplating a lot of things. I am so glad I have my husband beside me, with me all the way. I love him so very much.

My sweet friends

In the last two months tragedy has hit twice for two of my friends. Lindsay Killingsworth lost her mother and Lauren Woods lost her daddy. It is times like these when people start asking God why questions. I have been in the why situations before. Not too many times, but the few times I have it drew me further and further away from Christ. Like I can even begin figuring out why our great God and King does things. I don't know if it's fair for us to ask these type of questions, do you? All I know is that when God first made the world he was pleased because it was good. Therefore concluding me to believe that bad things are not from God. Death was not part of God's original plan, so I believe that ALL things bad come from Satan (I know that sounds cheesy "Christian-speak" but I can't think of a better way to say it). Yes, God allows them to happen, but if we had lived according to His original design, bad things would not happen. Thoughts?

Our life...

There are several marriages around us that are falling apart. Marriages that have only lasted a year. Thinking about that makes me not only sad, but feel that the devil is working overtime in ruining what is good in the world. However, Chris and I love each other more each day. Our relationship continues to grow and we are seeing the fruits of our faithfulness to each other and to God. Chris desires to help those marriages that are failing and I pray that will be my desire too. I never thought that someone could love me like Chris does and I thank God everyday for him and what he does for me, how he makes me feel, and the way he treats me. I am the luckiest woman to get to fall asleep and wake up to the love of my life everyday for the rest of our life together.